| who i'd like to meet. |
[Thursday
April 6th, 2006
9:36pm] |
all i ask is that sometime in the near future i get to see envy again and cross paths with this phenomenal musician (smiling eye contact as a way of saying hello while performing is just not enough):
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| eisley! |
[Friday
March 31st, 2006
1:01am] |
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tonight i saw eisley, brighten, envy on the coast, sgt, some metal band, and simon dawes at the crazy donkey (not in that order) with brian. what a goood show, although i would have liked it if it wasn't 6 hours long and didn't include the metal band or simon dawes.
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| the one with drorings. |
[Sunday
May 1st, 2005
11:50am] |
some more drorings.
( +++ )
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| the one with likes and dislikes. |
[Thursday
April 28th, 2005
5:21pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Neutral Milk Hotel - "Ghost" |
] |
some things i don't like: overzealous people. rain.
greasy food. chocolate. oblivious boys.
math, since when are letters supposed to multiply against numbers?.
the way curses sound. the oc season 2. east islip high school.
gangsters. crews.
when people say racist slurs, the words "yo", "mofo", something that ends in "izzle".
science, it makes everything ugly.
thinking about the future. big cities. disasters. bees. spiders.
fans that talk about soco on a jm site.
and the movie ladder 49 just because it's so incredibly sad.
some things i do like: spring. rivers. leaves. trees.
fruit, even though its a funny sounding word.
grass stains. small southern towns. the sky.
jonathan jones. good tunes and nice voices.
boys that sound like they're smiling when they sing.
carrier pigeons. pianos.
wearing the same pair of jeans everyday.
my dog. the show friends.
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|
| run down of a monday. |
[Monday
April 25th, 2005
7:41pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Waking Ashland - "Medication" |
] |
so today was pretty okay. i slept until noon and watched unsolved mysteries.
then i went shopping which is always good.
i saw an old friend. he's still as vibrant as ever.
it seems like the only thing my mother ever says to me involves weight loss and needing a bigger size in something. i don't want to believe her.
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|
| this hurts like hell |
[Sunday
April 24th, 2005
10:55am] |
i really hate it when i meet a boy and for some time it seems like its going so good, and it seems like we're both falling fast and then, just like that, i'm forgotten.
it's happened before but it didn't really matter. now i'm not so emotionless and completely love his guts.
it's like i have fallen ten thousand feet under ground
and there's now a starbucks right above my falling spot.
at least thats what it feels like.
i wonder how it would feel to know that the once enchanting girl is now completely and utterly empty.
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| love's sorta sour, isn't it? |
[Saturday
April 16th, 2005
11:43am] |
i hate when i'm laying down, with my eyes closed waiting to fall asleep, and the "dreams" start rolling and the two faceless people in the dream whisper things to each other so i can't even hear them.
how rude!
things from my own mind keep secrets from me. just wait until i kill them all with my sword.
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| true that. |
[Thursday
April 14th, 2005
5:43pm] |
|
on that lucky numbered day in march, i met a boy so beautiful that when the rain falls he blooms. but he has so many flaws that he only lives during spring and when fall comes again, he dies. what a heartbreaker.
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| you have no idea |
[Friday
April 8th, 2005
11:49pm] |
|
well, now my eyes are red. they used to be brown.
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| well i wanted to |
[Saturday
April 2nd, 2005
6:41pm] |
Why is it that most intellects and depressives describe early morning to be the time when they ponder about their unfortunate lives?
Well, I'm sitting here, in the middle of the goddamned afternoon, with nothing but a cigarette,
and I'm thinking about the same things a therapeutic musician does.
Sorry, I was never much of a screamer.
My nightstand is home for my lighters and old rentals.
When I lay down to what's beside it,
My bed resembles the people that occupy my life,
the people I feel absolutely nothing for.
They don't ask how I'm doing
and when they do, it's really for themselves.
They're just there to accommodate my mind with ridiculous comfort.
Tonight I planned on seeing a lover,
it's hard being away from the one you love, you know
and all you can do is anticipate time.
I moved aside the fire and slept with his picture at my bedside,
but I don't know the man that stood behind him.
He wrote me a letter and said that
California yawned and I heard it all the way from New York
It sounded much like the noise of being alone,
the house settling and feet from the apartment above.
Truth is, these past couple of days,
I've been waiting to get hit by a bus.
I've been waiting to go to sleep and for my alarm to never go off.
Let's go out for dinner, I'll have to cancel, blame my appetite.
But darling, darling, don't be upset, I love you very, very, very much.
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| california yawned and i heard it all the way from new york |
[Friday
April 1st, 2005
3:21pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bright Eyes - "Devil In The Details" |
] |
it was in the first month of my tenth year,
i met a man who only spoke in honesty.
"i hate everyone and even myself
i think i'll burn in hell for this shit"
he was young but i figured him old
and i don't know where he remains
but i know that on his grave
his widowed wife will swear his virtue.
i admire his honesty very, very, very, very much.
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| all you can do is anticipate time |
[Thursday
March 31st, 2005
9:39pm] |
|
i finally learned that money can't buy happiness.
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| oh oh, oh no, i'm so skeptical of this |
[Sunday
March 27th, 2005
10:29pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Eisley - "Telescope Eyes" |
] |
i've been so inspired lately. it's like i've been living in a patch of the greenest grass with the prettiest blue sky above my head. of course, it has had quite a few grey moments though. a lot of grey moments. but if my counting is correct, since march 8th, i've composed over 25 songs/poems, monologues, stories, drawings, etc.
( ..i'd become a pirate and roll in riches.. )
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|
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| lets waste away like particles in the air |
[Saturday
March 26th, 2005
6:15pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bright Eyes - "A Song To Pass The Time" |
] |
where does everything end and begin? i'm not talking about life and death... but, like where does your finger end and the air begin? i've been wondering that since i was three years old. i'd sit in my room, staring at my finger, trying to figure out where the hell the borders were. everything just sort of fades together. everything has glowing edges (or maybe that's just my eyesight).
i need to get out more. i need to stop being so impatient. it feels like steps are being taken back. i need to take a step foward so he can follow.
i just changed the subject quite suddenly. i need to make sense. well, i make sense to myself (at least, i like to believe i do). if i don't to you, then consider me a mystery until i do.
( i don't really like these )
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| we're nothing but faceless in the trees |
[Thursday
March 24th, 2005
8:16pm] |
these characters, they have no lives
but they're in our minds.
just close your eyes real tight
and soak up the noise.
( don't be afraid of turning the page )</center>
i'm losing my voice and it sounds like there's a frog in my throat.
i named him carter. he's a swell frog and all but..
i want him to go away. pleeease, carter, lets say our goodbyes.
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| the one where you must excuse my french. |
[Wednesday
March 23rd, 2005
11:07pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
This Day & Age - "Second Place Victory" |
] |
( see more.. )
lovelovelovelove.
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| the one with a talent. |
[Tuesday
March 22nd, 2005
1:25pm] |
i'm going to address a question, and i want you all to answer. when you wake up in the morning, brush your teeth and do your hair, put on your make-up or tie your shoelaces, do you ever wonder "i can make something extraordinary out of this life?"
i do. we were all given a talent, a talent that we didn't have to learn & practice or adapt to. i guess for me, my talent would be words.
or maybe my real talent isn't even the words that i constantly write down on paper and try to compose into a song, maybe it's my ability to see and believe the things that may not even really be there.
have you ever met someone so amazing, and after parting ways with them, you thought to yourself "i could very well marry that person" or "i'm going to think about and love that person forever."? but of course, you would never dare share your thought with your friend who is walking beside you in fear of being mocked.
destiny doesn't always work both ways. it doesn't always work so you can fall in lust and think you're in love at your lonely age, and it doesn't work to make you a better or prettier person, it works so you can end up where you have to be. even if you don't like where that is.
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| the one with breathing. |
[Friday
March 18th, 2005
5:55pm] |
this morning, as i stepped out of my house, i took in the smell of the air around me. i found it marvelous because it smelled exactly like spring... but there was no blossoming flowers around, only dead grass and the remains of snow.
wouldn't it be wonderful if everyday of every season you could still see the breath coming from your mouth?
i would find it comforting yet somewhat unsettling.
comforting in the fact that i'd know that i was still breathing,
and unsettling in the fact that... i'm still breathing.
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| the one with aslan. |
[Tuesday
March 8th, 2005
7:02pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bright Eyes - "First Day of My Life" |
] |
so, today i wrote a song about a boy.. i haven't written a song that came from somewhere real in a long time.
yeah, ashley, you helped out with some of it and you didn't even know it until now haha.
( it's snowing in aslan )
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